2017-07-17 - 8:42 a.m.
I have killer PMS, if that's what it is. This is the fifth day of it, so it might be something else. It doesn't feel like depression, really- not absence of feeling, the opposite- a glut of emotion I can hardly control. I wept almost all the way through watching the movie Moonlight last night, relating to it (oh my god you're a white woman, you're only partially gay and your mom only drank), just feeling ripped in the guts. My overflowing waterfall tears of the past few days have me scared Ben will cease to tolerate my too-much-ness, find a woman who is contained and calm ( thought have wings, don't give that one energy, you know better). I want to quit Facebook. I want to...I don't know.
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